ANOTHER NOTE FROM LOTTIE.
Fear not, I haven’t died or forgotten about this blog. I am asking that anyone who has tried to contact me since a month or so ago to reach out again.
I’m still here and willing to help!
xoxo,
Lottie.
Anonymous: Hey I need some advice, I have lots of stuff just in my head at the moment. And there’s a few things that are bothering me. The first thing is that I broke up with my ex girlfriend 3 months ago, and ever since then I’ve found it hard to let go. So I’ve been pestering her and her friends. To the point where I’ve been verbally abusive, and threatening. Her friends have took it upon themselves to mess around with my head a bit, mind fuck me, and play stupid psychological tricks to have fun with me. It makes me feel like they’re taking advantage of me because I’m autistic. So anyway. I had this whole idea that my ex girlfriend cheated on me, and I haven’t had any proof, and from the evidence I had, looking back, I was really irrational and she may not of even cheated. It was just because she met this guy, that she’s now in new relationship with. But while she was with me, she met up with him as a friend with the intent to be with him. I’m not sure if they did anything or not though.
I can’t seem to resist the temptation to talk to her, her friends. I feel completely compelled just to write and write song lyrics about her, in my tumblr, because love is the most common thing in a song, but even then, I just depress myself.
I need to know what I can do to just get over feeling crap over this, and the worst thing is, she’s in the same building as me in college, in September. And I’m going to be seeing her everyday, in the corridor. I don’t like that idea.
The second thing is, I think I spend too much time on the internet, my appearance is getting bad, and I’m not going out for fresh air. I see the facebook logo everywhere. I think I might be obsessed with the internet, to the extent that I get so thoroughly frustrated and treat people online like it’s a game, because that’s how it feels, because I can’t see them face to face. I also get the feeling that it’s common to argue over the internet. But my mum made me feel guilty for doing it, yet I still do.
The third thing is, is that I think I’m very maschostic, I thrive off negative things, and enjoy them. Like writing depressive lyrics, I don’t see the point in helping myself, and im always self-destructive.
I need measures to put in place to be able to cope, I need to sort myself out, but sometimes it’s hard. I really desperately need your advice.
Thanks x
I’m going to try to address everything in the order as you wrote this, but it might seem a little unfocused. So, I apologize for that to start with.
There is a reason this girl is now your ex — whether it be because you thought she was cheating or not. Delete her number, her friends’ numbers, and such from your phone. Purge yourself of her (in a sense). I’m talking — throw away the things that she left with you (or return them). If you see her or her friends, walk away. Bite your tongue. Block any means of communication to avoid temptation from anyone.
It’s a breakup. It will get easier.
Secondly, turn off the computer. Go outside. Simple. Even unplug the computer if you have to.
Writing is a very good outlet to seemingly help you cope (as you’ve already mentioned). I wouldn’t go as far as to call yourself masochistic — since you are seeking advice.
Also, I am not a trained professional. So, the idea of giving you measures to cope with make me uneasy. Please seek a professional for that.
Good luck!
xoxo,
Lottie.
Anonymous: Okay, so I'm 14, and I'm a girl, I like this guy, we are friends, but he flirts a lot with me, I like him more than friends. The catch is, I hear he's a player, he calls me baby, and boo, and he says he loves me (that I don't believe because we're young, and we've only chilled a couple times.) But, his best friend, also one of mine, told me that he had a thing with like 3 other girls, I really don't want to loose him.. He asked me out last night, but I said no, because I don't want to get hurt, and he's cheated on girls in the past, so I can't fully trust him, when he asked me why I said no, I couldn't tell him that I knew about these other girls, because I promised his best friend I wouldn't let him know I know, because I'm not even supposed to know. So, the only excuse I could say was that I didn't like him, but now, I'm not even sure if he does have a thing with these other girls, because his best friend has been flirting with me, so maybe he wants to get me to like him, and not the other boy. I don't know what to do! :/ Please help <3
No matter what you do, you will get hurt in a few relationships. I’m not saying that he will or won’t hurt you because I have no idea, dear.
If you like him, talk to him. Be honest and tell him your reservations/fears. Don’t let his friend cloud your judgment; sometimes rumors are just rumors.
xoxo,
Lottie.
Note from Lottie!
To anyone that has submitted something to my askbox over the last few weeks/days, I’m sorry I haven’t answered. Tumblr wasn’t showing me the notifications.
Your questions will be answered now.
(Source: icanread)
Anonymous: Hey. I need your help. I'm 14 going into 9th grade. My boyfriend's about a year and a half older than me. Anyways, we've been together for 4 months. He's head over heels in love. He tells me how he's never liked a girl the way he likes me. And he cares alot and loves me. But despite the loving and caring, he's probably the most jealous and protective person on the planet. I've drifted apart from 2 guy friends of mine, all because he doesn't want me to talk to them. If a boy says hi to me, he automatically takes that as the guy hitting on me and he ends up wanting to fight that boy. And if I can't see him on the weekends or we can't hangout (I'm always busy) he flips out and takes that as "oh I don't love you". Last month I thought about ending it, but I don't know I guess I was in love again. Earlier this month, I heard a rumor about him cheating on me with 5 other girls. It couldn't have been true. Although he has a history of "playing girls". Anyways, and a week ago, he got arrested for something related to street racing. He loves it, and I hate it. And ever since he got his car, he stopped texting me the whole day and replies super late at night. And on top of that, I'm not happy anymore and my whole family (who I'm so close too) doesn't know we're dating. They kinda have this idea that I'm still too young for a boyfriend and they worry that something will happen. The guilt's killing me. I've decided I'm going to break up with him. Problem is that I'm scared. I'm worried that since he's basically obsessed with me, he'll hurt me if I break up with him. I've even been praying to God for him to do something stupid, like cheat on me, cause I thought breaking up with him would be more easier haha. But please help. I'm not happy. I miss being single and not being told to "not be around other guys".
End it, end it, end it!
1) You aren’t happy.
2) It sounds like he scares you a little.
3) There are major dating violence signs (even if it isn’t physical)
You need to talk to an adult. If you aren’t ready for that step, I’m going to list a few resources for you. However, each one suggests to get an adult involved. It doesn’t have to be a parent.
http://www.loveisnotabuse.com
http://www.loveisrespect.org
http://www.breakthecycle.org
Even call 1 (866) 331 9474. It is completely anonymous.
Above all, if you’re that frightened he’ll try to hurt you, don’t be alone with him. Always have a friend/someone present.
xoxo,
Lottie
Anonymous: This is sort of a difficult thing to explain, because everyone is so different. It's hard to find a perfect solution sometimes, but I need all the help I can get. I met a guy through a friend, and we like eachother. There are just these two things getting in the way. The first thing is something I cannot help- age difference. I'm fourteen, and he's sixteen. We don't want to have sex, but because of the laws we're afraid people would take it the wrong way. How do I deal with this, and how can I make it better? Also, he suffers from some depression and things, but his parents refuse to get help. He's never done anything harmful, and the depression doesn't make it impossible to be around him, but I know that he could be living a better and happier life if he somehow got help. He's talked to his parents, and they just assume that it's something every teenager goes through. They refuse to get any help, but he needs to fix it before it's too late. What should I do to make the situation better?
First: About the age difference, two years is nothing to worry about! I was fifteen, while my first boyfriend was seventeen. Some people believe it’s wrong, but as long as you don’t feel pressured; do what you want.
Second: I’m afraid there isn’t much you can do about his depression. Since his parents are aware, I’d recommend that you just suggest he talk to a guidance counselor. That might be a temporary solution. But I cannot stress this enough, he has to want it for himself.
Good luck!
xoxo,
Lottie
Please reblog this if you’re an advice blog!
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Anonymous: okay so i really need help. i love this guy so much. and his my brothers best friend, im 14 and his 16. we had a thing when i was 11 and than we didnt talk anymore because he started high school and had many more girlfriends. when i started high school, i started to get boyfriends and he started to than talk to me again. we hadnt talked in so long, and to be honest i fell inlove with him again instantly, im now in year 9 and im that in love with him. but theres no way we can go out unless we keep it to our self. iv lost friends because all i wanted to do was be at home and to wait for him to come over. we have hooked up and done other stuff together in the past year, and as he is getting older he wants more and more. my brother has no idea that its going on. 2 months ago, we kissed and after i went away and i came back and he was all over other girls. it was so weird. its like we never even happened. i havent talked to him in awhile. and when ever he comes over i run into my room crying, because he brings other girls around and kisses them right in front of me. it fells like iv done something wrong? or maybe im just not good enough. its so hard to watch. and im so jealous. i also went to his house last weekend and i brought my best friend he hugged me and than went staright to my best friend and started flirting with her. im so angry. im planning on getting over him but its so hard, i love him so much, do you know what i can do about it? its okay if you dont know what i can do. im just so lost and hurt.
Sweetie,
You said it yourself already. Get over him.
It may seem like the hardest thing in the world right now, but take one day at a time. Hang out with friends, meet new people. You’re young and there are plenty more boys that are worthy of your heart.
